~ the point to ponder~

it just happened during a programme here in jordan,
we were given the chance to ask the presenter some questions regarding her presentation,

as i was the master of ceremony,
i usually allow the members of the audience to bring up the questions in their minds first.
but somehow rather my mind kept playing the images of a slide from the presentation.
as long as i recall it said,

PASSION + PATIENCE= SUCCESS

yes, it is true, that passion with an addition to patience would of course result in success.
well, this was not the matter that bothered me.
the thing that bothered me, is the fact that the presentation was regarding medical and dental students. so of course these are the things that is most fundamental in making sure you become a very well prepared and patient doctor or dentist in the future. soooo
does this means that

NO PASSION + PATIENCE = NO SUCCESS??



so what if a medical or dental student have issues with interest?
i mean, there are some of those people here who initially signed up for something else and eventually got stuck with medic or dentistry.

well, to be frank. as an easy example, take

ME MYSELF AND I...

yes, me, i am not really that INTO dentistry,
but in the end i got stuck with it.

________________________________________________

looking at this aspect i foolishly asked the presenter,

"KAK, WHAT IF THOSE WHO DO NOT REALLY HAVE THE INTEREST IN THESE FIELD FAIL TO BUILD UP THE PASSION. ARE THERE ANY TIPS IN ORDER FOR US TO GRAB THIS PASSION IN THE FIELD WE ARE IN NOW?"

well, i expected something along the line of,

"oh, believe in yourself"
"oh , have confidence"
" oh, do your mostest bestest"

unfortunately i was left with something along the lines of,

"well, the decision you make should have been thoroughly thought about even before you make your choice to come here.well you are still in your first year and its not too late to turn back. i suggest you to rethink about your decision to come here, perhaps, you should go with what you wanted initially"

hearing this. i was devastated, i only asked the tips to instill the passion in you,
not which path should i choose.

???!@#!@#$!@$(*@#&(*&#@(*!#@&(*&@!


OK OK , aku da serabo0ot da. the statement made me think again about my decision.
i know, you guys mesti kate, gile la ulya nie, jiwa kacau, takde pendirian,
tapi if you guys where in my shoes i think you would understand.

i dont want in 20 years time i regret for making the wrong choice
oh ALLAH please help me in finding my path to you and the path that is beneficial for me.
for to only you i lay my destiny and only you are the saviour of every soul.

i tried to calm myself. i tried to think rationally,
(despite pulling the sorrow face during the programme)
i tried to stay consistent and firm with my choice.

as i hope things got better, the second presenter suddenly commented on the issue,
she said:

"its better for you to rethink and go back now in fulfilling your real dreams than to have to suffer 5 years of learning something that you do not like."


wow, looks like everyone is against me now,
great justtt great. [-_-"]
and congratulations,
i am now beaten 2-0

HOW BAD CAN THIS BE!!!!

then another facilitator came in sight,
he too commented on my issue, he said

"its better to live your dream than live someone else's dream, it would be a waste of time if in the end you do not practice your dental certs "

BRAVO AGAIN.. 3-0... happy??

MY MIND WAS SWIRLING AS FAST AS THE BERMUDA WHIRLPOOL.

i kept thinking of the possibilities , doubts came into sight,
all i could see is the word IF again.
____________________________________________________

come on ulya, pull yourself together,
you know you could do this, you know that you have made up your mind.
stay calm, stay relaxed, stay rational..


*sighs*

all i have now is the words of wisdom from abang imran,

he asked me,
"didnt you do your istikarah before you made your decision?"
i answered,
"yes i did, way before we flew to jordan"
he asked again,
"then? what have you got?"
i said
"well my intution says to go here, to come to jordan even though i dont know why"
he said
"well, allah's signs are in multiple ways, intution is also a most common one, if you believe in your ibadah, if you believe in the results and that it came from Allah, then let it be, ALLAH WOULDNT LIE, REMEMBER THAT"

i smiled, its true, i have trusted the signs before this, why should i have second thoughts right?
he also said to me that passion could be built once you know what you are studying. maybe at the first year, the practicality of what we are learning are not clear, but once you get to the clinical years, once you get to have a further hands on approach, then you would learn to love it,
give it a chance.

there is one malay saying that goes,

"tak kenal maka tak cinta"
or
"if you dont know it, than you dont love it"

well, dont get me wrong, my post is not that i hated the other ideas from the presenter or what,
no.. its because the ideas just drive me back to my doubtness. and i hate that, it makes me tense, it makes me think , it makes me terrified.

all in all. my post today is just and expression of my feeling, whether its correct or not, is yet to be taken into consideration. perhaps we should all look into the possible perspectives for this issue and try to put ourselves in other peoples shoe.

till we meet again.. [-_-]
Op uLyA aQaMaH BiN Op HuSaMuDiN